the unrealism movement: circa 2013

"oh, you the doors of breath,
seal with a righteous kiss,"
oh, how i wish our ending
could've been a little more like this
...and is there nothing i can do,
really nothing i can ever again say?
screaming at the top of my lungs
but you'd still never know that i felt this way
are you now neverending,
or just clawing to get in?
is it true that your new beginning
is really just my unrealistic end?
maybe i should dig another hole for you in the dirt,
plant your picture there...
spread some voodoo on the earth?
or just continue to stand outside the gate,
rattle the cage some more,
while you don't mean to make me wait...
ya, i guess i could've handled it all a little more like that
instead of cried every moment knowing
that you're never coming back
but i didn't...and instead
i will wait...only 'til i'm dead
as you get further and further away
screaming at the top of my lungs
though you'll never hear a word i say

we count only blue stars

waves and the beach
it's all so cliche
i'd much rather drown in your skin
trailing my fingers
slowly down your body
i wouldn't know where to begin
troublesome, this feeling
though it's been so well disguised
cast me as the victim in your latest heartbreak
you can even plan my slow demise
kiss my lips slowly----or tear them apart
with your teeth, your tongue-----maybe even your heart
i'll be okay with any path you choose to take
that will be a role i won't even have to fake
i look into your eyes
but i refuse to decribe them
words like moon and sun
wouldn't do them justice if i tried them
but the waves and the beach
the ever crashing tide
if it carried us out to sea
i wouldn't even care if we'd survive

bonus mosh # you

i bet you're still a sucker for my face
and when you fall into my eyes
i hope you realize, you've been replaced
and as his skin breaks
as my nails run down his back
i hope you know with every thrust
i'm not looking back
and if that's just too much for you
like i know that it must be
i hope you'll always remember
and regret
that you'll never again feel my breath upon your neck
so just remember all the love i gave
and drown in the tears that fell when you left
it's all just a memory to me now
but i hope you remember it to death

special bulletin

your picture is hanging
on my wall
i'm watching and waiting
thinking it should fall
it's collecting dust
and vacant stares
but i think it knows
that i still care
so it's hanging there
on a clear tack
looking at me and saying
there's no turning back
the picture is there
but like you, it has no feeling
it's hanging there
and i'm sitting here, just dealing
with the fact that the picture
is all that i have
because i know looking at it now
that you're not coming back
so it will be hanging there
for quite a while
because it's the only time
that i'll get to see you smile

cologne #5

missing the smell of your cologne
even when you're near
it reminds me of all the times i left suffocating in your scent
when you used to hold me closer, dear
And now
the vacant smell of smoke
it fills my angry lungs
only serving as a reminder that i haven't smoked a cigarette
in far, far too long
so while you're off with someone else
letting her linger in your cologne
the only thing that i have left
is the smell of being alone

hardwood heart

you're like that dangerous chill in summer
that we both know doesn't exist
but like waves during a hurricane
my shores just can't resist
and are you dying to be in me...
or trying to claw through my skin?
i feel our last moments ticking away
second after second and again
there's the tide coming in, crashing around my toes
but it's slipping through imaginary cracks
like the hardwood floor that once held our clothes
while our record played its final track
and i'm no lover, i'm a fighter
but a lover i have known
and if i continue to fight instead of love
then i fear my hardwood heart
will always be alone

master lock

lock, unlock
left two, right three
and i'm dying to get back
to you lying on top of me
left then right, try it once again
if i can't see you soon
i'll have to carve your picture into my skin
your tattered sheets have begun to mirror
my wonderfully disheveled hair
and i will only check the lost and found
if you can promise i will find you there
i'll unlock any doors
that might lead me to you
so just a clue, a piece of the combination
is all i'm asking from you
before i let you cut me open
and pull my heart out with your hands
which is what i will have to do
if that's the only way to feel you inside of me again